The Two Who Destroyed Them All
by SuzySlasher
Summary: When two girls are sent to spend time with the TF141 to straighten out their behavior, without a clue they destroy them all one by one. This is a PARODY.


**Disclaimer: All characters from Modern Warfare2 are property of Activision and Infinity Ward. The stupid OC's belong to the author. **

**A/N: This is a PARODY, nothing more than that! **

**"It's the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor." ~ Max Eastman**

**Westside School For Stupid And Annoying Teen Girls**

**Everywhere, United States**

Principal Jones informed two of her students that they had been chosen to go to Afghanistan to get their behavior straighten out. The two sixteen year old girls, Crystal-belle DeHasntgotaclue and Stardust McShutherup were not at first pleased. Once they were informed that it was a highly classified military installation they both squealed in a pitch so high, that birds fell from the sky to the ground dead.

**Highly Secret Military Base in Afghanistan**

"Could you explain to me again Captain Price why there will be two teenage girls from the United States arriving on base today sir?" Roach questioned him.

"Oh…that. Well…apparently…well…um…they are…" Price rubbed his temples. "I have no fucking clue why they are coming here." Captain Price stared back at the man in confusion.

The school had started a program where they somehow convinced the US government to allow them to send teen girls to a dangerous demilitarized zone to learn from a secret task force on how to behave themselves.

As they munched on their pop tarts and bobbed their heads to their music from their iPods, the two teens got off of the chopper. They danced their way across the tarmac, and ignored a truck as it came barreling down on them. The horn blared as the driver tried to warn the two idiot girls, but the stupid girls couldn't hear the horn because of the music that pounded into their empty skulls.

Roach leaned against the jeep, a cigarette propped between his lips, and his arms folded across his chest. The thirty year old sergeant shook his head as the girls barely missed being run over by the truck.

The driver of the truck swerved and crashed into a wall as the clueless girls continued to bob their heads to their music. The fire and smoke went unnoticed by the stupid girls, as the poor driver fell out of the truck, and then proceeded to run around in circles as he turned into a human torch.

"Well girls…welcome to the TF141, my name is Sergeant Sanders-"

"Oh my fucking gods…you are fucking hot!" Crystal-belle screeched. " I hope you like teenage girls because I am so into older dudes. What are you... like forty-five?"

"Um…no…and…I don't like teenage girls…sorry." Roach frowned at the ignoramus as she ran up on him.

The idiot girls jaws dropped to the ground when they were rejected by the handsome Sergeant Sanderson. After picking their mouths up from the pavement, he threw their tons of luggage and electronic mind numbing shit into the back of the jeep.

"Now ladies…I need you to know that this is a restricted base. You will not be allowed to roam freely, and you will be kept in an isolated area. You will not associate with the men unless necessary, and we will not have you run-"

"Wait…we won't be staying with the guys?" The idiot Stardust spoke. "I thought they were going to teach us stuff…like how to shoot guns…and throw grenades and junk." Stardust cut him off, and stamped her foot as she pouted.

"I…don't know where you got that idea…but you won't be shooting any guns…or throwing any grenades." Roach stared in shock.

"Well what are we going to do here then? I was going to use this adventure to write a fanfiction story about it!" Stardust shouted out as she shot him the ever annoying teen girl glare.

"Fanfiction story? What's that?" Roach asked as he rolled his eyes up, because he knew the girl would start babbling about some shit he didn't care about.

"Oh my gods…it is the best thing ever! Me and my girlfriends…well we write these exciting stories about military stuff…and we put ourselves into them. You know where we get to shoot guns…and throw grenades, and hang with men." Crystal- belle clapped her hands with excitement.

"Oh…I see. Well unfortunately we don't really do anything exciting…unless we're out on missions…you know trying to stay alive…and avoiding dying and junk!" Roach stated sarcastically.

"Oh my gods…you are not only hot…but you're fucking funny too!" Stardust squeaked out.

By the time they reached Captain Price's office, Roach was nearly in tears as the two girls continued to babble on about fan fiction, music, men, and the latest episode of their favorite anime.

He threw their shit on the ground, jumped back into the jeep,and took off at a high rate of speed. He ran into MacTavish's arms where the captain comforted the poor sergeant by tearing off his clothes, throwing him to his bunk, putting Roach's legs over his shoulders, and teased him with promises of plowing him through the mattress.

Captain Price sat at his desk as the girls looked around the office. Their faces were scrunched up into the all familiar look that most teen girls have on their faces ninety percent of the time. You know…the one that makes them look like they smell shit.

"Ew…this place sucks. Hey old dude…where's all the guys in their thirties and forties? You're old enough to be my grandpa." Stardust sucked her teeth, and rolled her eyes as she spoke disrespectfully to the captain.

"Listen ladies…this is a highly secret military installation…and I don't know why in the hell you're here, but while you're here you will do as your told. Understand ladies?" Price spoke in his fatherly grizzled old captain's voice.

"Ew…you're old and gross…we want the other guy back…You know…the cute guy with the green eyes, and gorgeous brown hair." Stardust complained as she whined.

Captain Price sighed, and contacted Roach who he thought would be the perfect escort for the girls. When Roach answered his voice was muffled as he spoke to Price. His voice sounded this way because his face was buried in a pillow as Soap was behind him plowing him through the mattress as he had promised.

"I need you to pick the girls up…and take them to their quarters sergeant." He put his hand over the receiver, and whispered. "And tell Soap to stop plowing you through the mattress sergeant, it's the third one we've had to replace this week."

Roach limped into Price's office a half hour later with his shirt on backwards, and his hair standing up. When he and the girls left, Price pulled out his M1911, and put the muzzle to his temple. He pulled the trigger, but all he got was a click. He banged his head on his desk as he began to cry because he couldn't stop the echoes of the girls voices in his head.

When Roach finally got them to their quarters, he told them that they would be getting up at 0500 to start their day, and the girls giggled.

"Don't you know how to tell time dude? 0500 isn't a time, and you may be cute, but you're way stupid. Stardust giggled annoyingly.

Roach growled, told them they would be up at five am, and they had better be dressed, and ready. They whined, told him that was way to early, and informed him they would see him at noon. They shut the door in his face, and once again he ran to MacTavish for comfort. After ruining another bed, and leaving MacTavish unconscious he headed over to see Ghost.

"Please Ghost…please take them off of my hands! I can't take much more!" Roach begged his partner, as he went down to his knees.

"Come on mate…how bad could it be? They're a couple of yank girls who need guidance. Don't worry Roach…I'll handle them." Ghost smirked as he pulled down his mask.

**0500**

**The idiot girls barracks**

"Alright ladies, rise and shine!" Ghost stomped his feet to wake the two girls up. When the girls jumped up, there screeching shattering the windows, he nearly turned to run away. He sneered at the two as he stood his ground because being Simon "Ghost" Riley, he never ran away from anything or anyone in his life.

"Oh my fucking gods….your accent…is so hot!" Stardust jumped from her bunk, and threw her arms around Ghost.

"EEEEEEEKKK! The fucking mask is so cool!" Crystal-belle shrieked as she jumped up and down on her bunk.

"You are so hot, and that mask is so mysterious. How old are you forty-five?" Stardust asked as she clung to him.

"No…and please get the hell off of me…it's creepy for a girl your age to be hanging on a man my age." Ghost pried the girl from him, and stepped back.

"Well we love older guys, and we are way better than mature women because we know how to handle a man like you." Stardust cooed.

"We can talk about smart stuff. You know.. like… music…anime…Twilight, and other things that men your age like to talk about."

Ghost began to shake as he felt the tears well up in his eyes. He couldn't handle it, and so he ran from the barracks. He headed straight for MacTavish's quarters where the man took Ghost into his arms, and then tore off his clothes. As Ghost rode the captain he told him about their guests, and the brawny Scotsman told him not to worry, he would handle the girls.

Soap walked into the mess hall where his eyes narrowed on the two girls. The two teens, after whining that the mess hall didn't have their favorite pop tarts had put their ear buds in, and tuned everyone out.

When Soap approached the table they looked up at him, and their mouths fell open. As his mouth moved, they couldn't hear a word he said and they stared at him like the idiot girls that they were. He pulled the buds out of their ears and started to talk once more.

"You girls seem to be wreaking havoc around here already, but I won't stand fo-"

"Oh... my... freaking... gods….your voice is sexier than the mask man's. How old are you? forty-five?" Stardust asked stupidly.

"No, I am not forty-fiv-"

"You have a mohawk, scars, and your jeans are tight. You have a cool accent, you're a soldier, and you have stubble." Crystal-belle counted off on her fingers. Her eyes widened as she turned and looked at Stardust.

"FANFICTION STUD!" The idiots screeched in unison.

As the girls climbed across the table slowly, Soap backed up with his hands out, turned away quickly and sprinted across the mess hall. His eyes clouded with tears as he ran outside, and across the base into the pit where he begged them to use him as a target.

The girls squealed all day, tortured the TF141 with their stupid questions, immature behavior, and constant young girl creepy flirting. They had only been on base for less than two days, and had reduced the hardened soldiers to tears.

Captain Price who still heard the girls in his head as he staggered around base mumbling to himself, kept the gun to his head. Ghost ran around in circles naked wearing only his mask until he was finally put into a straight jacket and carted off. Roach snorted a few lines, downed a bottle of Xanax, drank a bottle of tequila, and was found dead in his bunk. MacTavish was eventually shot down like a rabid dog as he ran through the pit like a lunatic.

The girls eventually went home after they exposed the base to the enemy. They wrote their amazing story of how they met the most amazing guys. They told their readers how Soap spent time with them, and taught them the meaning of love. They let their readers know that Roach gave them individual attention by talking to them about music, anime, and guy problems.

They also wrote over two chapters on how Ghost taught them how to shoot guns…and throw grenades and junk. Twenty chapters were devoted to how all of the men fell in love with them, and turned on each other. Stardust McShutherup and Crystal-belle- DeHasntgotaclue informed their mindless followers that because they are so awesome, they were able break up a band of brothers who had formed a bond that no one could ever break until they came along.

The fic the girls wrote together received over 5,000000 reviews, and they were hailed as fanfiction queens. They let their followers know that since they enjoyed the first forty chapter fic, they are planning a sequel.


End file.
